Today he got off his blood pressure medicine! First major accomplishment. Mom and Dad are getting the NICU routine down. Every day it gets a little easier. Sometimes it feels like going to medical school when you visit. You try to find out when he gets to come home but they can never give you a date. They say he should be in there for a while and realistically he should be home between Feb 9-21st. If he comes home any earlier its a miracle and blessing.
I got my first picture with my mom & dad today. Although the other kids are not able to visit, they are there in spirit and there are pictures of them at his bedside. I am still listed as critical but they were able to get my hand & footprints done today for a scrapbook. Carli got a big sister shirt!
Everyone asks how I am doing. I will have to say great under the circumstances. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. But there are friends and family members that I know of that have harder things to deal with right now and they inspire me every day. The pros are I get a lot of sleep! I get to spend a lot of time with my 3 other kids. Its hard to walk in and out of the hospital and see healthy babies go home, but they look so tired. When I get out of there it will be one of the best days of my life. I have felt so much love and support from my husband, children, friends and family, but most of all my savior Jesus Christ has held my hand every step of the way. I also have a song by David Osmond called the Lonliest Walk off his new CD.
Here are the lyrics. and its a miracle and a crazy story on how I found this song.
you can hear it at davidosmond.com, click on music
She pushes L on that old elevator door
Her heart is broken, arms are bare
The doors are closing and she's staring at the floor
There's still a piece of her up there
It seems like yesterday she saw him on the screen
Painted a room and picked out names
But now she has to leave him under big machines
To keep alive his tiny frame
She's on the way to her car, but its never felt this far
With each step she takes there's another to follow
And one more ache, one more tear to swallow
She's gotta keep moving
Forget about the bruising inside
Through the loneliest walk of her life
He pushes up the board they've tied onto his shoulders
He bears, with dignity, disgrace
He hears the jeering and the wind is getting colder
Tastes the blood upon his face
His body bruised and back still open from the scourges
The consequence of wicked men
He knows no man on earth has ever deserved this
But still he bears it all for them
And He keeps moving up the hill to do his fathers will
Withe each step he takes theres another to follow
and one more ache, one more tear to swallow
we all stand by and watch as the price is paid
Through the loneliest walks of his life
so we don't feel alone in the night
we can have his hand holding the light
through the lowliest walks of our lives
Keep pushing through this lonely walk youre going through
Cause someones walked this way before
4 comments:
Wow! What a story and what a beautiful song! You guys are in our thoughts and prayers and we know that you are most definitely being watched over. :)
Way to go and make me bawl. I am suppost to be the strong one. Only you could tie in NFL Football right after you had him. It makes me laugh. I love you and let me know if you need something. I don't want to call you just in case you are sleeping so call me and give me the updates. I think I am coming down on Thursday. I will bring you some dinners.
What an amazing song!! I know this journey is s hard one and the unknown is the worst... Your a strong person you can do this. If you need to vent to someone who knows im here! Praying for you and your family!!
Thank you for sharing your story! And you're very brave to be able to do it so soon! It's very touching, and I'm typing through my tears. We are praying for the little guy!
That song is amazing, too! Last year, I remember when we had to go to the mortuary to sign some papers to okay our baby girl's cremation just days after she had passed away, we didn't see her, but knew her body was there. As we walked away, I was dying inside... I felt like I was abandoning my child and couldn't believe I was driving away and just leaving her there. It was awful... that song really hit home for me, too.
Please know that you are not alone! Many people have been through similar experiences and can relate and sympathize with you and will be there to help you any way that they can. You are a very strong mother and the rest of your family will find strength through you. Allow people to help you and it will become an incredible bonding experience for everyone! Many prayers and lots of love coming from my family!
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